The Chip

Since starting with AA I have always wondered about this “chip” thing.  I understood they were a marker for a milestone, but I had been to meetings where people announced their milestones and no chips were handed out so I thought it was something that wasn’t always followed.  I came to understand that this is done at special meetings.

I went to a meeting on Saturday morning, having just passed my 30 day birthday, and a couple of guys who I know from another meeting were urging me to come on Sunday morning and get my chip – 30 days is a big deal they said.  I kind of wanted the chip, and understand how it could be a motivator to not pick up the bottle.

I woke in plenty of time to go to the meeting on Sunday (it was very early), but there were some scheduling complications.  My son possibly had soccer games, but also they might be canceled due to rain.  I could attend the meeting, but I wouldn’t know about the games, and if they were on I would need help from the family.

Then the analysis began…  I thought of 3 things:

1)  The quote I have heard in AA:  “I shouldn’t expect recognition for something I should have been doing all along”

2) My son’s comment when I told him I had 30 days:  “I have you beat Dad, I have 14 years”
3) A comment by my wife:  “Imagine what it was like when I couldn’t drink pregnant”

All of a sudden it felt like a selfish thing to me, an extension of the alcoholic’s mindset of “all about me.”  I did not go to the meeting and get the chip.  I cannot say that I will never pick one of these things up, but for this one it felt like the right thing to do.  So, for 30 days, above is the virtual version.


About A Beast Within

Trying to find myself, battling alcoholism, and other personal demons. Sharing the journey. View all posts by A Beast Within

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