On Being Different…


Reflecting on my earlier post about the St. Patrick’s Day party, I need to say something – mostly to myself.

The denial creeps in.  The comparisons.  “Maybe I’m not an alcoholic”, these people can drink why am I different?

If I had drank at that party I probably wouldn’t have become a raging imbecile, likely  I wouldn’t even have appeared very drunk.  I wouldn’t have fought anyone or puked on the floor.  I wouldn’t have driven anywhere, I would be just like them, having a “good” time.  Just “party Lance”, nothing wrong here.

But I am different.  Most of those people were drinking to celebrate a social occasion, I noticed some fitting in some water, slowing down.  I would have been drinking to get drunk.  Sure, it might have appeared the same, but I would have continued until I decided to go home to bed, I might have given my wife a piece of my mind on the way.  I would not have stopped or drank any water.  I would have made that little pointless moment of celebration my entire temporary world.  Like throwing the laundry at the bottom of the closet and shutting the door so it isn’t there.  I don’t need that anymore.

That’s why I am different.

 

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About A Beast Within

Trying to find myself, battling alcoholism, and other personal demons. Sharing the journey. View all posts by A Beast Within

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